I am back...

It's been almost a year since I stopped. Time flies. I am turning 35 this year. It's half of a lifetime passed, I left with another the half to make it worthwhile to come into this world before I say bye-bye to this earth.

Apparently, there is no big impact, big results or big success I have achieve so far. More importantly, I haven't really living truly all this while, I haven't really living in full purpose all this while. It's really a big regret for the years that has gone by.

What is the purpose of my life? Will the spiritual path guide me to the right purpose of my life? Is there anyone watching us in this world? Like the creator of this world, watching us... seeing us make mistake, recording it down in a book, and punish us one day when come to the day of judgement?

I have many regrets in my life. Mistakes that I have made, wrong decision that I have chosen, sins that I had committed. The nightmare haunts me every now and then at night, leading me to miserable moments....

I have many dreams when I was younger.. when I get older, it seems that I have collected much wounds and junks that make me lost and weighed down, tired, hopeless, helpless, careless and mindless each day pass by.....

It seems I have many hidden emotion, feeling, voices inside me which couldn't escape from my heart. I want to fully let go of the past, and live fully now, but sometimes the pass will come visit me in my quiet room. Make me feel so guilty, and blue.

I feel so much need to let go my emotion, my feeling, wishing so much to find someone who can really understand me and accept me as what I am...........