Hi World... again

Hi.. i'm so lonely. :)

Emptiness... floating... in the middle of ocean....... it's not sad.... it's not happy.... it's somewhere in between..... somewhere I don't know where...........

Listening to "Dying in the Sun" ................. will you hold on to me... i am feeling frail.................... I wanted to be so perfect you see......... I wanted to be so perfect...... why?

Thursday... next Monday I shall be reporting work in KL, but i'm feeling so resist to go, what shall I do? Just don't go right? I'll think about it for another 24 hours... but I almost know the answer, I will not be happy to go...

I just back from Sg trip, a tiring trip. No doubt, Singapore is a better place to work and live? With better quality life, better life style, healthier and more fruitful and updated with whatever............ hmm, does it really matters? I think, live fully where you are now, and help people, and that will also find true happiness.

Different people will have different purpose in life, there is no need to follow or copy other people steps. I am 34 now, I should think for myself, for what I need to do, and not what other people think what I should do. What is the real me? I need to live out the true me.

I have a lot of things on my mind, I wish to talk to him, or my partner, about what is on my mind, but he will never be around which is as expected. If I love him, I will have to accept that. So, I can only write in the blog ...........

You know about the Japan Tsunami? It happen just a day before I fly to Sg, it hit Japan on evening of Friday, 11th March 2011. Up to date, there has been 11,000 thousand people dead, the country is hit by 3 disaster.. earthquake, tsunami, and nucklear attack. I can't help but crying watching the footage of the tsunami coming so fast to wash away everything......... is really everything, it's so powerful.... it was away, cars, boats, plane, houses and all living things............. it's so powerful that shows we, human being are so vulnerable.....

The world is facing big issue.... I think my issue is so small if compare to this big news. It only affected me, why am I only thinking about myself all the time and not being able to be happy, it clearly shows that I am focusing on the wrong thing.

I learn one sentence or rather the sentence attract my attention today when I watch the 21st Dec 2012 footage... whether the world is going to end or not, we have to live to the fullest, and live to the best and be happy, and helping others is one of the key to the door of happiness.

Helping........................................ a lot of things pop up on my mind. First thing I think of is to give donation, but financially I am still so feeling reluctant to give away my money, cause I am now going to jobless soon............................... why it's like chicken and egg story.....?

You know... now is 830pm. And he still don't wana show himself back home. This is what he give to me.... no accompany, no support, no $, this is my bf.....................no time. One word, dissapointment.